December 19, 2021

Today, My mind, body and heart feel very deeply a loss from eight and a half years ago. You might say that’s a long time to hold on to grief. But I am not clinging to grief, I have worked through it. I am holding onto memories. Memories of two kids who, 31 years ago, started life together, raised amazing children, traveled, laughed, played, worked, and had dreams of forever together. That life ended suddenly and the dreams shattered. But “loyalty to the dead (past) keeps you from living; you render your life irrelevant.” Van Der Kolk, M.D.

I still feel the loss, but my life is no longer ruled by it. I still wish he were still here, but am aware of abundant blessings in my life.

Yes, I am remarried and happy, but that doesn’t erase or replace Les.

I have experienced devastating loss and grieved greatly. And learned to live again. I am aware of the goodness of God in my life, but today I weep. it is ok to remember and to continue to live.

I hurt for those facing loss, but have hope for hearts to be mended.

We don’t get to choose what we think is good and avoid what grieves our hearts.

Life is an emulsifier of rejoicing and grieving.

Grieve well; live well.

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